


Kuroko Tetsuya's Most Exhausting Day Of The Year

by Muffarino



Series: Hogwarts AU [2]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, M/M, a v-day fic posted nearly 5 months after v-day, everyone wants kuroko's ass, i have good time management
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 20:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4235760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muffarino/pseuds/Muffarino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Valentine's Day is never peaceful for Kuroko. Especially when all his admirers have magic and far too much free time at their disposal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kuroko Tetsuya's Most Exhausting Day Of The Year

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this on Valentine’s Day this year expecting it to only be a 500 word drabble…five months and 8000 words later here we are! Just pretend I posted this on/around Valentine’s Day. I’m posting this separately to the rest of my Hogwarts AU Drabbles because it’s so damn long.
> 
> WARNING: There is a small section in this fic involving love potions that may vaguely be considered non-con/dub-con so if that makes you uncomfortable please avoid this fic or skip that part. There is a warning before the section starts if you wish to skip it.
> 
> Thanks to jarofclay for beta reading. You are too good for me.

Kuroko Tetsuya was not looking forward to February 14th. Not even remotely. There was no doubt in his mind that some of his friends would be searching for him high and low today like it was Kuroko hunting season as had been the case since their third year. Groaning, he pulled the covers up to his chin and nestled further into the plush comfort of his bed – his only remaining sanctuary – and debated whether he could remain in hiding for the rest of the day. Whatever feeble escape plans that had begun to develop in his mind vanished when the deep indigo curtains surrounding his bed were roughly forced open. The sudden light blinded him and he attempted to hide under the covers, a futile endeavour as they too had been pulled off leaving one very cold, very irritated Kuroko.

“Get up.” A gruff voice demanded and Kuroko affixed his housemate with a half-hearted, sleepy glare. Predictably, Midorima pointedly ignored this. He was already impeccably dressed despite it being a weekend morning when any sane student would still be blissfully unconscious. After five years together Kuroko had yet to see Midorima ruffled even after an exhausting Quidditch match or a particularly challenging exam. “Hurry up, I’ll meet you in the library. Don’t glare at me, our O.W.Ls are only a few months away and you’ll thank me when you don’t fail.”

Midorima shuffled around in the deep pockets of his robes while Kuroko blinked himself awake, extracting a small box of matches and depositing it unceremoniously upon Kuroko’s lap. “It’s your lucky item for today. I daresay you’re going to need it.” It was the only reference he’d made to the horrors Kuroko was bound to face today.

“I’ll take all the luck I can get if it can help me escape whatever Kise-kun has planned.” Midorima’s lips curled upwards and Kuroko couldn’t tell whether his amusement was at Kuroko’s expense or not. Midorima only hung around long enough to ensure Kuroko wasn’t going to venture back into dreamland before he strode out the dormitory without another word.

Kuroko dragged himself to the bathroom and attempted to shower and make himself presentable. He had hoped to avoid people as much as possible today but at least the library was the safest place for him outside of his dormitory. Should any of his more boisterous companions seek him out there they would undoubtedly be kicked out by Madam Pince, the head librarian, as she was outspoken in her dislike towards rowdy students in her library. Heartened by the knowledge Kise and Aomine wouldn’t last two seconds in the library, Kuroko made his way out of Ravenclaw tower and down to the Great Hall for a quick breakfast before joining Midorima in the library on the third floor.

Kuroko somehow wasn’t surprised to find Akashi sitting with Midorima. He supposed it was hopeless to try and avoid the red-head who always seemed to know exactly where Kuroko was no matter how flawless his hiding spots were. Kuroko suspected a tracing charm but never voiced his suspicions.

Akashi looked up from his notes and his eyes settled on Kuroko before he had even made his presence known. Akashi’s expression was softer than usual, as it always was when looking at Kuroko but he gulped knowing what that would mean for him today of all days. “Good morning, Tetsuya. I’m pleased you decided to join us.”

“It was under duress, I assure you.” Kuroko pulled up a seat opposite Akashi rather than take the seat next to him that the Slytherin was currently offering. He wanted to avoid close situations if he could. “Good morning, Akashi-kun.”

“I am curious though,” Akashi spoke in a whisper, aware of Madam Pince eyeing the growing crowd as if daring them to be loud “I thought you and Ryouta usually studied charms together.”

“I’d prefer to avoid Kise-kun as much as possible today. I’m afraid he may try to one-up his performance from last year.” Kuroko involuntarily shuddered at the memory of a sea of roses he had to wade through to get to his seat in charms class, eventually casting reductor and reducing the gift to ash. It was somehow made even worse as Kise had forgotten to remove the sharp thorns from their stems, a fact he had apologised profusely for during the following weeks. Kuroko had to give him credit for the advanced summoning charm though, Kise did excel in charms.

“A sound decision.” Akashi nodded, absentmindedly flipping through the pages of his textbook. “I wish you luck avoiding him today.”

“Please don’t act like you’re so innocent, Akashi-kun,” Kuroko narrowed his eyes “I know you have something planned.”

Akashi looked up at Kuroko, eyebrow quirked and a twinkle of amusement in his mismatched eyes. “That remains to be seen, Tetsuya.”

“So I’m to wait in fear for you to make your move?”

“Fear? Why Tetsuya, is that how you feel about my affections?”

“I hate to interrupt this thrilling conversation but can we please start studying,” Midorima interjected, rubbing his brows and resolutely looking away from what he would deem to be tactless public flirting.

Kuroko startled, he almost forgot it wasn’t just Akashi and him. “Gladly.” He turned away from the two of them and opened his own textbook.

Turns out Kuroko wasn’t as prepared for Kise’s attack as he initially believed, which he discovered upon opening his charms text book to a sudden array of colours and sounds. Kise, charms prodigy as he was, had placed a series of charms on the book so that flowers, glitter, and hearts made of pink smoke exploded from the pages. A cheesy love note scrawled itself out in the air in front of him. This was accompanied by the chirping of doves interwoven with orchestral music that was evidently meant to inspire awe yet all it managed to induce was a headache. It was perhaps the tackiest thing Kuroko had ever laid eyes on. Not for the first time, Kuroko was glad for his low presence as everyone’s attention was focused upon the book and not the flushing student holding it. However, a look towards Madam Pince confirmed she was fuming with rage.

“Kuroko, if you get me kicked out I swear…” Midorima grumbled and pulled the mountain of books he’d amassed closer to him and out of the destructive path of Kise’s gift.

“Well you couldn’t avoid Ryouta forever,” Akashi chuckled, prodding at one of the flowers that disappeared in a puff of smoke at his touch.

“I’m going to kill him.”

* * *

As it so happened Kuroko was the only one kicked out of the library and Midorima was all too happy to see the distraction leave. Akashi ended up joining Kuroko despite Kuroko’s refusal, he didn’t want to impose. Besides, it was already half past nine in the morning and Akashi had yet to reveal the Valentine’s Day plans Kuroko knew he was hiding. His lack of action was disconcerting.

“You’re standing awfully far away, Tetsuya.” Akashi observed as they wandered the halls in search for a quiet place to study.

Kuroko held his book bag tighter to his chest and eyed the Slytherin suspiciously. “Akashi-kun, if you--“

“Tetsuya, I know you have no fondness for lavish and public displays of affection. You need not worry about a repeat of this morning from me.” Akashi reassured him. He took two steps forward and swept Kuroko’s hands up in his before he could defend himself. His posture was relaxed but Kuroko had learnt to be wary of the company he keeps. Akashi was a serpent who could strike at any moment.

“I know you’re planning something,” Kuroko hissed to which Akashi only chuckled fondly.

“Of course I am.” He gazed wistfully at their joined hands before bringing them up to his lips to lay a chaste kiss upon Kuroko’s knuckles. “You will have to wait for the surprise.” He let Kuroko’s hand slip from his grasp and took a step back. “I should return to my common room now. I hope the rest of your day is at least somewhat smoother.”

Kuroko could only nod and wave as Akashi left, rendered speechless by his charm. At least he was left alone now to study in the temporary peace.

* * *

Valentine’s Day this year fell on the Saturday of a Hogsmeade Weekend to the delight of many students who took it as an opportunity to take their partners on a date. Unfortunately for Kuroko, he had to run a few errands in the village that couldn’t be put off until the next visit. He just desperately hoped he could dodge the eyes of his friends while there and hurry back to the castle without incident. He pulled his cloak around him, held his book bag close to his chest, and hid in the middle of a group of third years.

He had thought it was a solid plan but he had only been in the village for five minutes when he heard himself being called. “Aww. Kuro-chin, you’re so little you look like a third year.” Kuroko turned in the direction of the drawling voice. Murasakibara towered over everyone and his height gave him an advantage to spot Kuroko in the crowd. Kuroko sighed and walked over admitted defeat.

“That wasn’t the best hiding spot I will admit.”

Murasakibara petted Kuroko’s head affectionately despite the Ravenclaw attempting to swat him away. “My Kuro-chin radar is just too strong.”

“That just means I need to get better at misdirection.”

Murasakibara shuffled on his feet and put down the numerous bags filled to the brim with confectionaries that were hanging from his arms. “Wara-chin needs a Kuro-chin radar. He has been looking for you all day.”

“Ogiwara-kun has?” Kuroko made a mental note to look for his childhood friend when he returned to the castle. Ogiwara was perhaps the closest person to Kuroko in all of Hogwarts and was the one person Kuroko wouldn’t try to avoid today. He was lost in thought about why Ogiwara was looking for him and didn’t notice when Murasakibara shoved something into his mouth. Kuroko instantly knocked the giant’s hands away and the chocolate Murasakibara had been trying to force-feed him. “Murasakibara-kun, I don’t want any.”

“Eeeeh? But it’s Valentine’s Day, Kuro-chin. Today is all about eating chocolate.” Murasakibara guided the block of chocolate to Kuroko’s mouth, softly making aeroplane sounds under his breath that probably weren’t meant to sound as condescending as they did.

Kuroko shoved his insistent hand away and leant back from the confectionary assault. Murasakibara eventually gave up and begun to nibble on the chocolate himself. “It’s meant to be about love actually.”

“Hmm, but chocolate’s better.”

Kuroko felt himself smile. “Yeah…chocolate’s better.” Murasakibara beamed at him. “But that doesn’t change the meaning of Valentine’s Day. Did you get anything for Himuro-kun?”

“No? Why should I?”

Kuroko shook his head exasperatedly. “Don’t be surprised if he gets mad at you later.” Beside him Murasakibara shivered in fright, clearly the idea of a cross Himuro Tatsuya wasn’t a pleasant one. “You should buy him something. Even if it’s just small I’m sure he’d appreciate it.”

“And then Muro-chin won’t bite my head off?”

Kuroko smiled up at him fondly. Murasakibara was surprisingly easy to get along with and Kuroko did value their friendship greatly even if it felt like speaking to a pre-schooler some times. How Murasakibara maintained above average grades was beyond him. “Yes, then he won’t bite your head off.”

Murasakibara ruffled Kuroko’s hair before brushing some locks away and planting a kiss on his forehead. Kuroko grimaced at the gesture and the crumbs of chocolate that fell from Murasakibara’s mouth. “Here, Kuro-chin.” He shoved a handful of confectionary into Kuroko’s bag despite his protests.

“Really, Murasakibara-kun, I don’t need this--“ Kuroko paused and his eyes widened when something in the distance caught his attetntion. Kise Ryouta was dashing towards them, waving wildly. “Oh no.”

“Ah, Kuro-chin should run away.”

“Duly noted.” Kuroko peeled himself away and attempted to vanish from the blond’s sight but Hogsmeade was a small village, it was hard to escape Kise despite Kuroko’s lack of presence.

Kise was much faster than him and Kuroko knew he couldn’t run away forever. Several inches of snow covered the ground and his steps would leave footprints that would give him away should he hide in one of the quieter areas of town where the snow was not already littered with the footprints of students. Making a quick decision, Kuroko ducked into the nearest store – Zonko’s Joke Shop. As expected, the store was jam packed with students Kuroko could hide amongst.

Kuroko hurried to the back of the store and squeezed himself in between two displays. Kise had just entered the shop and he was jumping up and down trying to see over the heads of the other students and search for Kuroko but was having no luck. Kuroko sighed in relief thinking he was safe for now, until a familiar voice spoke.

“’Sup, Kuroko!” The hearty voice of one Takao Kazunari called out to him from where he stood at a nearby display. The Hufflepuff navigated through a group of fourth years to reach Kuroko and snorted at Kuroko’s current position, ignoring the desperate shushing motions he was making. “You’re so weird, man. Anyway, listen up. Shige-chan has been looking for you since this morning but you’re like smoke! He can’t find you.”

“I know, Murasakibara-kun told me. Now please can you leave?” Kuroko attempted to shoo him away to no success.

“Why? Is something--“

“Kurokocchi!” A loud cry interrupted them and Kise was suddenly right in front of the duo, dragging Kuroko out of his hiding spot by the wrist and subjecting him to a crushing hug.

“Ah, shit. Sorry, Kuroko, I didn’t know you were hiding from Ki-chan.” Takao rubbed his neck sheepishly, knowing he’d just sentenced Kuroko to Kise’s will. Regardless, Takao slapped a hand on his housemate’s back and wished him luck. “Use protection!”

Kuroko shot him a disgusted look but his attention was quickly stolen when Kise cheered and attempted to snuggle closer. Kuroko focussed upon extracting himself from the blond’s grip. “I finally caught you! Come on, Kurokocchi, I have something for you.”

“I’ve already had enough of you today, Kise-kun. Your gift earlier got me kicked out of the library.” At this announcement, Kise began apologising hysterically but Kuroko brushed him off. “I’m not going anywhere with you.” He shoved Kise away and strode out of the shop with purpose, determined not to let Kise drag him around.

Kise panicked at the sight of Kuroko’s retreating back. He didn’t want to mess this up again for the third year in a row. He immediately jumped after him but tripped in his haste, crashing to the floor face first with a large thump that drew the attention of everyone nearby. Unluckily for him he fell on the one patch of cobbled stone ground by the shop entrance where the snow had not fallen so when he stood his hands were scraped and bloody. Kuroko immediately stopped and returned to Kise with worry evident in his eyes.

Not wanting to upset Kuroko, Kise promptly hid them behind his back and laughed his fall off. “Aaah, I’m such a clutz!” He stuck his tongue out playfully, “Kasamatsu-senpai’s always telling me I need to watch--“

“Kise-kun, give me your hands,” Kuroko cut in sternly. One of his own hands stretched out with the palm up.

The blond bit his lip. “Eh? Does Kurokocchi want to hold hands? I’m going to blush.”

“Kise-kun.” Kuroko’s tone made it clear he wasn’t going to put up with Kise’s deflections. Kise conceded and rested his hands in Kuroko’s. He sighed at the sight of the minor wounds then pulled out his wand and casted a simple healing spell. The skin of Kise’s palms threaded back together before their eyes, becoming as good as new. “I’m sorry, Kise-kun.”

“No, no! Kurokocchi, it was my fault and it wasn’t that bad anyway.” He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Thank you.”

Kuroko blinked up at him a few times before a subtle smile graced his face. “So…what did you have planned, Kise-kun?”

“Eh?” Kise’s hand dropped. “Wait, you’re letting me show you now?” Kuroko nodded and Kise beamed at this, practically vibrating with his regained excitement and dragged Kuroko away from the village without another word.

Kuroko really should give Kise more credit, after all his birthday gift this year had been surprisingly thoughtful. The simple drawstring book bag he received was enchanted with a powerful undetectable extension charm and had been the perfect gift for him. It was decidedly tame compared to Kise’s usual displays of affection which had a tendency to grab the attention of everyone in the immediate vicinity. His birthday had only been a fortnight ago but Kise’s gift had quickly become the most useful gift he had received, as it saved him multiple trips and he could even use it back home in the muggle world.

So it really shouldn’t have surprised him that Kise was learning and had a much better grasp on Kuroko’s modest tastes and how to please him now. He had to admit he was impressed by the quaint picnic spread Kise had set up in a small grove not far from Hogsmeade village.

Kuroko had barely sat down and gotten comfortable when he realised there was no way Kise could do anything modestly. He jolted when the nearest napkin moved in a way that couldn’t be blamed on the breeze. The napkin had begun to twist and fold on itself, the pale blue cloth twirling briefly before becoming completely still. Kise gently scooped in into his cupped hands and gave it a few taps and suddenly it was twirling again. Within seconds Kuroko witnessed it take shape into a simple origami owl and he sat dumbstruck as the small bird shook its cloth wings and seemed to take in its surroundings. His attention was so captivated, he hardly noticed when Kise took one of his hands in his own and deposited the owl in Kuroko’s smaller palm.

“Look, Kurokocchi,” his voice hardly a whisper but full of warmth nonetheless, “it’s Nigou!”

“It’s adorable, Kise-kun.” Kuroko smiled as he watched the little owl flap its wings and rub its head against Kuroko’s wrists.

“Look! I can do more.” Kise announced before pulling multiple cloth napkins from a nearby basket and his wand from the pocket of his coat.

With a few sweeping motions and spoken words the various napkins of all different cloth patterns begun taking the forms of animals. A dog, a fish, a bear, a rabbit, a butterfly, and many more. They all begun moving around the pair autonomously, although Kise did have to pull the dog origami back to them when it dashed away. Kuroko couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled over when the butterfly landed on his head and the rabbit kissed his nose. “They’re lovely,” he whispered.

Kise beamed at him, overjoyed that he had pleased Kuroko. “Well I wanted to do something you’d like for Valentine’s Day. I mean you like animals but I’m no good with animals but I’m good with charms! So I thought, what could I make for Kurokocchi? So I went to the professor and he gave me a whole stack of books. Kurokocchi you should’ve seen it, it was massive! I’m not a Ravenclaw and I don’t like reading like you guys do but I like Kurokocchi so I was determined to get through them all. So I--“

Kuroko tuned Kise out pretty quickly into his rant. He was more that content to simply enjoy the sounds of pure joy laced into his voice. He had a sneaking suspicion Kise just liked hearing his own voice too as he seemed to expect no one would listen to his rants. He was always grateful Kuroko wouldn’t interrupt him and would even entertain his thoughts if he was feeling nice.

His speech faltered momentarily when Kuroko rested his head on Kise’s shoulder as he played with the origami creatures. A brief look up at Kise confirmed the boy was blushing too fiercely to function and form a literate sentence until Kuroko prompted him again. They stayed like that for some time, Kise’s voice had dwindled off at some point and they sat in companionable silence nibbling on some of the tarts and watching the creatures dance around on the snowy backdrop.

“This is lovely and all, Kise-kun, but my fingers are beginning to go numb. Would you join me in the Three Broomsticks? I’ll buy you a butterbeer,” Kuroko offered.

People had always likened Kise’s personality to the sun – bright and fierce and unfaltering – but Kuroko thought that no mere star could compare to how dazzling Kise looked as he beamed down at Kuroko with so much love and happiness he thought he might faint. Kise was entirely too much for Kuroko to handle, but just this once he didn’t seem to mind.

* * *

( **WARNING** : this is the start of the vaguely non-con section. Nothing _actually_ happens but it may still make readers uncomfortable. Please skip if you wish.)

Much to Kise’s dismay, Aomine had whisked Kuroko away before they even reached the village, effectively ruining their ‘Hogsmeade date’ as Kise had taken to calling it despite Kuroko’s protests. He would never admit it but Kuroko was beginning to enjoy himself and wasn’t too pleased when Aomine had run over to them looking like he’d been through a tornado on his broomstick. He cast a leg-locker curse on Kise and pulled Kuroko away without explanation while Kise was immobilised.

Kuroko was dragged into the Three Broomsticks and dumped with little gentleness into one of the booths tucked away in a corner of the tavern.

“Can I get you anything, Tetsu?” Aomine offered, but Kuroko only glared at him in response and Aomine held up his hands in defeat. “Alright, I’ll just get you a butterbeer and some chips then.”

Aomine wandered off to place the order, leaving Kuroko alone for some time. Aomine was spending far too long at the counter. Even with his broad back turned to Kuroko blocking his hands from sight, his intent was obvious. Kuroko sighed and prepared himself for what was to come. Aomine returned to the table shortly after, carrying a tray of two butterbeers and a basket of hot chips. He placed the tray down on the table and slid into the booth beside Kuroko. He was too close for comfort now, especially when he slung an arm around Kuroko’s shoulders and was oblivious to the smaller boy’s attempts to shuffle away.

“Isn’t this better than whatever Kise forced you into? No sea of roses this year? How about exploding teddy bears again?” Aomine laughed as he shoved a handful of chips into his mouth.

“Believe it or not I was having quite a nice time with Kise-kun. I went with him willingly.” Aomine didn’t look like he believed Kuroko’s words for a second. “You, on the other hand, pulled me away from him without my consent.”

“Aw, come on, Tetsu. Don’t be so cold.” Kuroko glared at him, he wasn’t in the mood. “Come on, drink up. You’ll feel better and won’t look like you’re going to murder me in my sleep.”

Kuroko ignored him and instead pretended to be surprised, pointing out the window behind Aomine. “Is that Momoi-san? She looks mad.”

“Shit, where?” Aomine whipped his head around, looking desperately out the window in fear of the formidable girl. Kuroko was right in assuming Aomine had done something to annoy Momoi as per usual. “Oi, Tetsu. I can’t see her. Where did you say she was?”

Kuroko hummed noncommittally and took a sip of his butterbeer. “I must have imagined it.”

Aomine sighed in relief and turned back to Kuroko. He picked up his own drink and raised it for a toast, clinking their glasses together and finishing a third of his drink in one go before slamming it back down on the table. Aomine wrapped his arm back around Kuroko’s shoulders and leant close enough they could count each other’s lashes. Kuroko jolted when he felt a hand settle on his leg, and was overcome with the urge to demonstrate to Aomine just how hard he could punch.

“So, Tetsu,” Aomine drawled, “how about you and I go for a ride later? And I’m not talking about broomsticks.”

“Aomine-kun, you are vile.” Kuroko shoved his hand in Aomine’s face and pushed him off in a way that twisted his nose and was almost certainly painful for the Gryffindor.

“Okay, okay! Sorry, Tetsu! I was kidding! Stop!” he pleaded, but Kuroko continued his assault.

The door to the Three Broomsticks slammed open loud enough for the sound to fill the entire tavern and attract everyone’s attention to the furious blond storming in. Or hopping in. Kise was still under the effects of the leg-locker curse Aomine had placed on him earlier, causing his legs to stick together and forcing him to jump in order to move around.

“Aominecchi, you are dead!” Kise yelled when he caught sight of them and hopped over in a less than threatening manner. Kuroko felt sorry for him and removed his wand to cast finite incantatum, ending the curse much to Kise’s gratitude.

“Cry all you want, Kise. You had your time with Tetsu, let someone else have him.” Aomine didn’t notice or chose to ignore Kuroko’s glare at this comment. He wasn’t property.

“You ruined my date!” Kise yelled, he would have been more intimidating if he didn’t look like a petulant child throwing a tantrum.

Aomine readied himself to stand and fuel the fight that was brewing but suddenly jolted, blinking in surprise and staring up at Kise from where he sat like he’d had an epiphany.

“You…you have the prettiest voice.”

Kise, who was pulling his wand out in preparation for a duel, had to do a double-take and looked at Aomine like he’d grown a second head. “Wait, what?”

“It’s like the sound of doves chirping and angels singing. No! Even better.” Aomine rested his cheek on his palm and stared at Kise with dreamy eyes. “Sing to me, my love.”

Kise shot a questioning glance to Kuroko who was trying, and failing, to stifle his giggles. “Aominecchi, are you okay?”

“You’re here, how could I not be.”

Kise shuddered at the unexpected adoration. “Kurokocchi, what’s wrong with him?”

A love potion in his drink.

It was an underhanded and disgusting move. Fortunately, Aomine was no master of subtlety. Kuroko was grateful he had the foresight to switch their drinks while Aomine was distracted searching for Momoi or else he would be the one gazing longingly and invitingly at the other with doe eyes. Aomine would no doubt have taken advantage of this and they would be shamelessly making out in the corner of a public tavern.

He turned his attention back to his companions, crossed his legs, and idly nibbled on a chip. “Love potion. I would suggest you run, Kise-kun.”

Kise blinked at him, still in confused shock. Aomine cried out and launched himself over the table to wrap his arms around Kise’s waist. “No! You can’t leave me!”

Kise shrieked and pulled the tanned boy off of him frantically. “Kurokocchi, save me!” But Kuroko was immobilised with the laughter he couldn’t hold back any longer. At the continued assault Kise hastily dashed out of the tavern, fighting off an Aomine following him desperately.

Now that he had silence and alone time, Kuroko sunk back into the comfortable booth and relaxed for the first time that day. He ate a few more chips and finished off the safe tankard of butterbeer. He closed his eyes when they began to feel heavy, he knew it wasn’t a good idea to fall asleep in a public place but he hadn’t the strength to fight it.

He would have dozed off had his name not been called. “Kuroko?”

Sky blue eyes blinked open and took a moment to focus upon the figure standing in front of him. When he recognised the speaker Kuroko greeted him with a yawn. “Good afternoon, Kagami-kun.”

“H-hey.” Kagami spoke with and uncharacteristic cautiousness that made Kuroko straighten up in alert. The red-head was staring resolutely at the floor with his hands behind his back and biting his lip in an oddly adorable manner.

“Is something the matter?”

“Nothing’s wrong! I um…I got you this.” Before Kuroko could register his words something was shoved below his nose. “H-happy Valentine’s Day.” Kuroko would have smiled at the gorgeous bouquet of baby blue flowers had he not recognised them.

“Kagami-kun,” Kuroko begun warily, “I know you’re failing herbology but surely even you realise these are poisonous, right?”

“Wait, what?” Kagami instantly dropped the bouquet at the announcement as if he had been stung and jumped back. “Oh god. I’m so sorry, Kuroko.” He frantically checked his hands for any rashes or similar. “Am I gonna die? Are you gonna die?”

“Relax, Kagami-kun. They’re not fatal.”

He sighed in relief but there was still a frightened tension in his shoulders. “I saw them in one of the greenhouses and thought they were beautiful. They’re the same colour as your eyes.” He stared at the discarded bouquet mournfully.

Kuroko felt sympathetic. Kagami only meant well and he appreciated that, especially after Aomine’s devious plot today. “They are beautiful, but also can cause paralysis.”

Kagami gulped. “How bad is it?”

“Nothing to be worried about but I suggest you and Aomine-kun go up to the hospital wing for antidotes.” Kagami looked dejected and excused himself but Kuroko stopped him before he left the tavern. “Kagami-kun, thank you. I really do appreciate the gesture.” He smiled up at his friend gratefully.

The taller boy blushed madly and averted his gaze. “Ah, well, I still screwed up. I’ll do better next time so,” his eyes darted around anywhere but Kuroko’s face and he seemed to blush even harder if that was possible, “w-wait for me.”

Kuroko smiled fondly, he couldn’t make any promises like that but the thought was nice.

“Go get your antidote before you pass out, idiot.” Kagami startled at the reminder and rushed out to find and drag Aomine up to the castle with him. Kuroko would follow soon after, once he’d finished his shopping and disposed of the dangerous gifts.

Kuroko shook his head. Stupid Gryffindors. At least his life was never boring.

* * *

Love potions and poisonous flora aside, probably the most terrifying and deadly gift of the day was from Momoi, who accosted him the moment he returned to the Ravenclaw common room after diner that evening. She had lost the ability to speak in his presence, reduced to a blushing mess of stuttered words and fumbling hands. Before Kuroko could calm her frazzled nerves she had shoved something into his hands and dashed off to the girls’ dormitory. The box had a bright pink floral pattern with enchanted flowers that bloomed from buds in his hand, it was tied neatly with a simple ribbon. Kuroko let himself smile at the wrapping until he opened it and noted the content.

Chocolate. Hand-made.

It was no secret Momoi had zero cooking ability. Her creations were more lethal than the draft of living death. The prospect of consuming her gift sent a shudder down Kuroko’s spine. He was now confronted with the moral dilemma of eating the gift at the risk of a trip to the hospital wing or rudely refusing the chocolate Momoi had so lovingly crafted. Sighing, he decided to hold his decision off until later and joined Midorima by the fireplace where he was studying surrounded by class notes.

They studied for some time, long enough that the younger students had gone to bed, their study interwoven with friendly chatter. Mayuzumi, a Ravenclaw seventh year, had joined their study group too. The senior gave them tips for their O.W.Ls in exchange for gaining access to the newest light novel Kuroko had been sent from home.

Their study had been going smoothly until a newcomer entered the common room and wasted no time striding over towards them.

“Good evening, Tetsuya, Shintarou, Chihiro,” Akashi greeted.

Kuroko’s eyes widened and he clung to Mayuzumi’s shirt. “Save me,” Kuroko pleaded in a whisper but it had no effect on the senior.

“Oh hell no, I’m not staying with that brat. I’m out.” Mayuzumi slid all his belongings off the desk and was gone in an instant.

“I should leave too.” Midorima started to pack his things away but in a much calmer manner than Mayuzumi did. He sighed at the betrayed look Kuroko directed at him. “Don’t give me that. Watching the two of you flirt is not how I want to spend the rest of my evening,” he stated much to Kuroko’s embarrassment and hurried away.

Akashi raised an eyebrow as he watched the two flee the scene. “Should I be offended?”

“It’s not because you smell, I assure you.”

Akashi chuckled. “Of course not.” He waved the matter off. “Nevermind, this will make tonight easier anyway.” He sat himself down on the couch next to Kuroko and quickly made himself comfortable.

“Do you ever stay in your own common room?”

“If Rowena Ravenclaw wanted to keep me out of her dormitory she shouldn’t have made it so easy for anyone to enter,” Akashi reasoned.

“Say that to our friends who have been trying to get in here for years.” To this day, Kise, Aomine, and Kagami had failed to solve any of the riddles required to be answered to enter the Ravenclaw common room.

“It’s not my fault they can’t answer simple riddles.”

Kuroko had enough chit-chat. “Why are you here, Akashi-kun?”

Akashi wasn’t upset by the cold inquiry, he smiled at Kuroko instead. “I did tell you I had prepared a gift for you.”

“There’s only three hours left until Valentine’s Day is over. I was beginning to get my hopes up that I would be free from you.” Kuroko twirled his quill between his fingers idly, delaying the inevitable.

“I believe you’ll find this more enjoyable than you think, Tetsuya.”

Kuroko stared at him suspiciously but decided he would entertain Akashi’s whims. Akashi may have had far greater self-preservation instincts than the rest of their group but he had always been considerate of Kuroko and was certain to give a gift Kuroko would enjoy. “Alright, where is it?”  Kuroko held out his hand.

Akashi chuckled. “My gift is not material, Tetsuya. You will have to accompany me for it.”

“It’s past curfew.” Kuroko stated simply.

“Then we’ll just have to be very careful, won’t we?” Akashi left him no opportunity to argue, he held Kuroko’s hand and laced their fingers together before dragging the Ravenclaw from his dorm into the empty hallway. “Stick to me, Tetsuya. I’m a prefect so I’m allowed out past nine but we’ll have to hide you shall we stumble across any staff.”

“Do my ears deceive me? The great Akashi Seijuurou is breaking the rules?”

Akashi chuckled and turned his affectionate gaze to Kuroko. “You have a way of making me forget myself,” he tightened his grip on Kuroko’s hand, “I don’t care for the consequences.” Kuroko ducked his head to hide the redness blooming in his cheeks.

Akashi increased their pace, guiding the pair through silent hallways to the castle’s eastern side. Ravenclaw tower was located on the west so their journey wasn’t a short one, but Kuroko took comfort in Akashi’s hold and didn’t wish to let go of his palm any time soon. The halls were silent, save for the occasional sound of a portrait snoring of one of the painted residents snapping at Akashi for casting lumos and waking them. It took over ten minutes for them to reach a familiar staircase.

“The astronomy tower is out-of-bounds outside of astronomy classes. You’re turning into quite the bad boy, Akashi-kun,” Kuroko teased.

“Is the forbidden nature making you swoon?” Akashi returned the tease with his own.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Kuroko covered the smile pulling at his lips and begun to climb the stairs ahead of Akashi. When he reached the top of the staircase and stepped out onto the landing he was surprised.

There was nothing. No extravagant display, no meticulously prepared picnic or love potion. Nothing.

“With all the build-up I was expecting you to have prepared something grand.” He looked over his shoulder to where Akashi was emerging.

“On the contrary, Tetsuya, tonight took three months to prepare for.” Akashi chuckled. A warm hand was placed flat in the small of Kuroko’s back and he was gently guided to the centre of the room where the floor had been cleared.

“Three months?”

“An insignificant amount of time to convey the depth of my feelings.”

Pale lips twitched upwards. “I appreciate the thought you put in. The past few years I doubt anyone else has spent more than ten minutes to plan their gifts to me. You and Kise-kun are certainly improving.”

Akashi shot him a sour look at the mention of his competition for Kuroko’s affections. “I’ll have to investigate what Ryouta did this year, but regardless, I aim to make you forget all about him tonight.”

The walls of the tower were open letting the chilly winter night air flow into the room and seep into Kuroko’s skin in spite of his coat and thick woollen jumper. In hindsight, he regretted not grabbing his scarf and gloves before he was dragged from the common room. When Akashi noticed the shivers racking Kuroko’s frame he removed his house scarf and wrapped it around Kuroko letting his hands linger on his shoulders a moment. Kuroko smiled at him gratefully and whispered his thanks before burying his face in the scarf and breathing in Akashi’s scent. Akashi had sacrificed his own comfort for Kuroko’s and that brought him more warmth than the scarf did.

“So what did you have planned?” Kuroko questioned, curiosity now greatly peaked. He held his hands up to his face and breathed warm air on them as Akashi took a step back. The red-head reached to the back pocket of his jeans and grabbed his wand. It was one of the longest wands Kuroko had seen, only smaller than Kagami’s and his own, made of rich golden kaya wood and adorned with ornate patterns that suited the elegance of its owner well.

Kuroko became mesmerised by the complex spell Akashi weaved. His wand glided fluidly, painting images in the air and his lips moved to form words Kuroko could hardly comprehend. What looked like gold dust conjured around Akashi’s wand in a thin layer before the specks detached and floated through the air, filling the room and lighting the area in a pale golden glow. When the dust stilled it formed into clusters and patterns. Kuroko gasped almost inaudibly in recognition.

“They’re stars. Constellations,” he breathed out in awe.

“Ever since first year you’ve adored the enchanted ceiling in the Great Hall. I wanted to bring you closer to the stars,” Akashi explained with mirth.

Kuroko moved his hand to the nearest constellation but when his skin touched the stars they dispersed and coated his fingers in golden dust that reformed into stars when he moved away. He waved his hand through the constellation and chuckled with delight as the dust scattered and swirled around like a cloud of light.

“Three months learning this spell?”

“Three months creating this spell,” Akashi corrected.

Kuroko faced Akashi with eyes blinking in overwhelmed surprise. To create a new spell was no easy task. To create a new spell for someone else was an admission of utmost devotion. His chest felt tight and it suddenly became hard to breathe yet Kuroko couldn’t help but smile. “It was worth every second. This is gorgeous.”

Akashi had been standing to the side with his hands behind his back simply watching Kuroko’s reaction with captivation and fondness. Now he glided over to Kuroko in long strides and the stars parted around him like he was cutting through water. He raised a hand and for the first time that evening showed a hesitancy and nervousness Kuroko had rarely seen since their third year, but it was soon replaced with confidence and a look of adoration. Kuroko tried to duck his head to avoid the full force of Akashi’s gaze but the red-head’s hand cradled his cheek and kept him in place. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Tetsuya,” he whispered.

Their breaths mingled now. He was close enough to see how the stardust powdered Akashi’s lashes and clung to his lips like a lover’s kiss. He wanted to wipe it off with a kiss of his own. It was a revelation that startled him but wasn’t unpleasant or unwanted, and a glance at Akashi and the longing in his eyes confirmed he desired the same thing.

It was impossible to tell who moved first; Kuroko latching onto the lapels of Akashi’s coat and pulling him down or the Slytherin guiding Kuroko’s head by the hand that cradled his cheek. The kiss was soft, delicate. There was no rush, no being swept away in the throes of passion, just a simple connection of lips but it set Kuroko’s veins alight. Their noses bumped awkwardly when they separated and Kuroko struggled to regain his breath but it was perfect.

Akashi carded his fingers through Kuroko’s hair adoringly before resting his hand on Kuroko’s neck and mustering up his confidence. “Tetsuya, I want you to know--“

“Stupefy!” The duo were startled out of their trance at the sudden cry. Akashi managed to notice the spell bolting towards him and stepped out of the way in time but it still caused him to stumble backwards and he had to lean on a nearby table for support.

“Aominecchi! You could’ve hit Kurokocchi!”

“I had to get Akashi off of him.”

Kise and Aomine stood at the top of the staircase looking like they were ready for battle. The effects of the love potion seemed to have worn off or countered by an antidote as Aomine wasn’t making goo-goo eyes at Kise anymore. Kuroko would have preferred that to their untimely interruption. He was annoyed at the duo but he knew Akashi was absolutely infuriated. The star dust scattered and fizzled out leaving the room in darkness, only lit by the real stars and moon outside. Kuroko doubted it was the loss of the golden glow that caused such a cold atmosphere that froze the room.

“Daiki, Ryouta,” Akashi’s chilling voice cut through the tension, “what are you doing?”

Kise was trembling where he stood but faked confidence anyway. “We’re the ‘Protect Kurokocchi’s Innocence Squad’ and we’re here to defend him from your debauchery,” he announced.

“We won’t let you corrupt him, Akashi!”

“Aomine-kun, you tried to feed me a love potion earlier,” Kuroko accused monotonously. “Please do not act like protecting my innocence is your main concern.”

“Is that so?” Akashi’s eyes cut to Aomine and he fixed him with a chilling glare.

Aomine started to panic under Akashi’s gaze and backed off slowly. “W-well, it didn’t even work so--“

“Serpensortia.” Akashi’s wand flashed a bright white and before Kuroko could register what had happened Aomine was screaming and shaking his legs wildly as a snake wasted no time sliding up Aomine’s pants. Kise wasn’t safe from Akashi’s wrath either. “Furnunculus.” Akashi ignored Kise’s desperate pleas to spare him and targeted him with a jinx.

Boils materialised all over Kise’s face. When the blond felt his blemished skin he screamed and broke down into sobs, pulling the hood of his cloak over his head. It would be easy enough to fix with a simple boil-cure potion but the effects must have been great upon Kise who cared greatly for his looks. Aomine had been unsuccessful in removing the serpent slithering up his pants and had resorted to ripping his pants off. The brave ‘Kurokocchi’s Innocence Protection Squad’ was now reduced to partial nudity and pathetic sobbing.

Akashi straightened back up, fixing his coat and hair which had messed up in his attack, and returned to the image of perfection he too often portrayed. He turned to Kuroko next. “I’ll accompany you back to your dormitory, Tetsuya.” Kuroko was speechless and could only nod. He could get back by himself but would entertain Akashi for now. Aomine and Kise did follow them out but they were far more docile now, acting like kicked puppies a few paces behind Akashi and Kuroko.

They were to separate when they reached the main staircase, Aomine to Gryffindor tower and Kuroko and Akashi back to the Ravenclaw tower before Akashi would follow Kise down to the basement and dungeons. However, they were interrupted by a harsh whisper and a hurried footsteps up the stairs as Ogiwara Shigehiro emerged from the darkness.

He looked frazzled, cautious, and was looking around nervously. Ogiwara was Hufflepuff Quiditch captain but he still didn’t have the same benefits as prefects did and would get in trouble if he was caught out after curfew.

“Ogiwara-kun, what are you doing here?” Kuroko removed himself from Akashi’s side and rushed over to Ogiwara who was overcome with relief.

“I’ve been looking for you since this morning!” Ogiwara exclaimed but didn’t look upset at this inconvenience, but rather impressed Kuroko had avoided him all day. “I got you something. There’s not much time left but happy Valentine’s Day,” he said with a grin from ear to ear that was so bright Kuroko was almost convinced it could light up the dark corridor.

Ogiwara handed Kuroko something and his eyes widened in recognition. It was a simple, large chocolate bar, a popular muggle brand of milk chocolate with a vanilla cream filling, he hadn’t even wrapped the gift or presented it nicely but Kuroko couldn’t have been happier. It was his favourite treat and he was immensely happy Ogiwara had remembered and gifted him with it.

“Thank you so much.” He closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around Ogiwara’s shoulders tightly, bringing his face down so Kuroko could kiss his cheek. Ogiwara laughed heartily and hugged Kuroko tightly around the waist in return. Neither had any intention to move and only hugged each other tighter.

“Chocolate? Simple chocolate?” Aomine inquired.

“I have no idea what that brand is.”

“That’s so…muggle.” Akashi furrowed his brows.

Ogiwara released Kuroko from his hold, although the Ravenclaw was slightly more hesitant to leave the embrace. His hand ruffled through Kuroko’s hair, messing it up more than usual, but unlike Murasakibara doing similar earlier, Kuroko didn’t mind at all. “But you have to give me half and hang out with me some time, as payment for making me run all over campus looking for you. Consider it a return gift.”

Ogiwara and Kuroko had grown up together, practically inseparable since they were children. Both had sobbed when Ogiwara found out he was a wizard before Kuroko and that they would be separated from then on until Kuroko learnt of his magic too. Despite both attending Hogwarts, they still hadn’t spent much time together, Kuroko’s attention being demanded by his other friends or the universe conspiring against them. So the promise of time spent in Ogiwara’s company, sharing their favourite snack like old times was too good for Kuroko to pass up.

Pure happiness pulled at Kuroko’s lips and he couldn’t help but smile and nod up at him. “Of course. Happy Valentine’s Day, Ogiwara-kun.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> OGIWARA WINS VALENTINE’S DAY, YOU CAN ALL GO HOME NOW.  
> This fic’s alternate name is: Gryffindors are dumb, Kise is surprisingly smooth, and Akashi never gets his way.
> 
> I’m really sorry if the AoKuro part made anyone uncomfortable. Non-con isn’t my cup of tea and I didn’t realise it could be considered as such until after I wrote it, and I don’t have a clue how to replace it. AoKuro is my OTP so I’m ashamed I wrote it in such a way, I apologise to other AoKuro fans. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed the silliness of that section and didn’t take it too seriously.
> 
> Once again thank you to my lovely beta-reader/ass-kicker/motivational furry, Jar Jar Binks.
> 
> This took forever, hope you enjoyed it! ^^


End file.
